7/2/2024

I wear socks to keep my feet warm

Asinine behavior for rooms likes these

As a rule, I generally resist wearing socks

Or pants for that matter

But keeping these pieces of fabric on my body is necessary

A silly attempt at grasping for any comfort

I focus on the subtle flicker of the lights above me

Until I become one with the ceiling

The world disappears as I go under water…

The crackling of the paper beneath me repulses me

Please hurry…

The poking and prodding stops

My body is too heavy to move

It’s unresponsive to my directives

I suddenly drop from the ceiling

Pealing off the residue of memories from every inch of myself

I wipe my face and brace myself for the exit

I don’t make it more than five steps

Disappointment and shame pour out of me

I’m compelled to disappear into her office chair

I know she wants to sell me on the next steps

Comfort me with the knowledge of it being necessary

That I’m doing the right thing

Despite my continuous discomfort

I’m not an idiot

I don’t object to the reasoning

Reasoning however, doesn’t bring me comfort or make me feel brave

There isn’t anything she could say to get this other part of me to buy in

The part of me that needs the socks…

She’s screaming…

It’s echoing in my skull…

And just to make Her stop, I’d leave all the fabric on…

But for now, I sell Her on the fantasy

One more- just one more time

And maybe then, we can be done…