Ambar G Ambar G

1/16/2025

The more I resist the more it persists… C. J.

I can’t make the noise stop…

I’m tired…

The sirens are calling…

I’m tired of resisting…

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/9/2025

(Dream)

People keep looking at me

I'm standing alone now at this party

Seems there are only men really around

I make myself busy and start cleaning

I find myself in the laundry room

I hear noise coming down the hallway and i peek

There is a guy jumping as he pulls his pants up

As he slips his shoes on

He sees me

And puts his arm around me as he walks me away from the room

Another comes up and asks for a hug as he comes in for an embrace

I'm uncomfortable

I know this feeling but I don't know why

I watch as he walks out of the room

He's clothed

But when we make eye contact a stone develops in my stomach

Like he's a doctor coming out of the room of a loved one

Preparing to deliver some bad news

The more this is look tells me, "don't come"

The more i want to

My legs pull me towards him

Everyone's watching

I'm nauseated by him now

Angry

Disappointed

My hands begin to shake

My throat closes

I look in the room

The image is gone from memory already

But the feeling isnt...

I drop to the floor

He tries to catch me

But I don't want him touching me

The screaming begins

I'm not screaming at anyone at first

But the more he tries to hold me the angrier I get

"What did you do!?"

"Did you do that?"

"Why would you do that to her!?"

Death breaks through the floor

I beg to be consumed

But it only comes to wrap itself around me

To tighten it's grip

And leave another mark

"I WANT TO DIE"

I wake up...

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/5/2025

I fantasize about it a lot

It feels so good and devastatingly bad

My ribs ache as he presses them against the sink

I avoid eye contact with myself

He's washing it away...

He knows what I know...

It's not coming off...

It's like rinsing oil off your hands with water

But he tries...

I gag, sometimes vomit over the running water but he never stops

He takes the toothbrush

The mouth wash...

I hate the taste of listerine

I hate scrubbing my tongue...

It's the same protocol each time

He leaves me on the lid...

My soul drips into the toilet...

I can smell it... I can taste it...

Sometimes i’d watch as the red moves and flows into hues of pink

Lose myself in nothing…

Sometimes I'd pray…

I’d make promises- i’d be a good girl

Worthy of his saving, I promise

… i’m not dirty

He killed me

Long before I could even live...

.....

I hated it

I hated him

I hate... me

....

I know him

It's what haunts him today

It oozes out when he drinks

It drives his threats...

I know him...

Like no one else does

With me, he cannot lie

The cost of ending me, is revealing yourself

You cannot take the soul of a child without paying the price

It’s not guilt he is consumed by…

It's the risk of losing power… credibility

You’re just as dirty… as me

I know what he likes...

I know what he hates...

He likes attention

And control

He feeds off your insecurities

He's great at saying a lot without ever really saying anything

He feeds off your pain...

He loves blood...

Especially, when you beg

His tools were always sharp

Always making sure to mark… what he claimed as his…

I carry the weight of my corpse

While he runs wild and free

I fantasize about him begging...

The blood...

The control...

Leaving a mark…

The prolonged execution...

The endorphins rushing through my body

What a high...

What freedom

If his heart stops beating

Mine can stop bleeding...

I watch as the thoughts consume me

Chew me up and spit me out…

Then the same feeling I get from scrubbing my tongue with the toothbrush comes up

Maybe, he left too much of himself in me...

This is when the fantasy shifts

I do not fear them

I welcome them…

If there was a God- this would be the prayer to fulfill

Please let me end here

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/4/2025

I've been thinking about, "this is as good as it gets"
"Good" doesn't feel so good
Hope for a different resolution is gone...

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Ambar G Ambar G

1/1/2025

There is always a point in the night when I’ve run out of…things

Nothing left to do

No one left to call

Just me and the glass of whiskey…

I like being alone…

I also hate it

It’s when the noise takes over

It’s also why I keep my distance from others

I wonder if I’d even like solitude if it weren’t for them

Or maybe it’d be the opposite

It’s all the same cycle

Rinse and repeat

But, some nights I don’t want to be alone with them…

I don’t have the words to explain what happens to me

I couldn’t tell you what I’m so sad about

Or even tell you with certainty that sadness is what I’m feeling

I haven’t figured out where the speaker is

The feedback loop increases the harder I look for it

I’m fine in this familiar space

I manage it alone

But sometimes…

I’d give anything to be held

But not just by anyone

You see, touch is important to me

Touch hurts more than it heals

Safety in it is rare…

I’d have to risk it all and trust someone to keep me safe

To hold me in their arms as I fall apart over something that no longer is

But cannot be explained to them

I hear my own contradictions…

I know I’m scary this way

It’s upsetting to others

And I wish I could explain it…

But I also wish someone wouldn’t look for it

For the answers or understanding in chaos they’ve never lived

I suppose this is an unreasonable ask…

I’m scared of the darkness in me consuming someone else

So, I stay away… to keep them safe-to keep myself safe

Yet, on nights like this, I dispute this claim…

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Ambar G Ambar G

12/28/2024

The noise is tightening the laces around my lungs

My throat is swelling up…

My hands begin to shake

I pick up a brush

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Ambar G Ambar G

12/14/2024

I don’t know how to stop…

I don’t know how to be good enough

I don’t know how to like myself

She struggled to raise me because she didn’t like me

The mean voice in my head was the women dropping me off at the sitter’s

Was, yet the voice in my head continues

It’s not just the thought, “I’ll never be good enough”

But the feeling

That’s worse…

I thought the peak of my grief would be accepting what I never got

There’s no one and nothing to fight anymore

There is silence left in the absence of the war

Making me so aware of just how empty and broken I am…

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Ambar G Ambar G

11/2/2024

(Dream)

I'm in the new apartment I sense.

I'm in session with my therapist

She asks me a question I don't understand about being "bad versus good"

A women, followed by her partner break through my window

The women disappears and its just him

He landed on my bed

I'm screaming and attacking him

I notice a sensation in my sleeve

When I look at the window there are insects coating the window sill

There are flies, bees, worms, spiders

Even frogs

I look at the floor

It's like I'm wearing a flashlight on my head

Everything is dark until I give it my attention

The floor is covered with insects

I try to crawl away

I feel exhausted and give in to the floor

I hear small coughs behind me

I turn to find mufasa, my dog

I reach to touch him and feel terrified I won't feel him

Not only do I feel him but he comes in for more

I begin sobbing

I repeat over and over "I love you"

I wake up shaking....

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Ambar G Ambar G

10/5/2023

“What if I never get my love reciprocated

Born to be the one

Forced to be, the one that never actually dated

And I think I’m a broken record

That every time that I flip

There is no other side

Just some smart ass funny quip

That doesn’t show how upset I am about it

I’m not funny

It’s just a trauma response

What if all I’m gifted

Is somebody’s half hearted nonchalance

I don’t feel rejected

I feel ugly

I feel like I’m not enough

I feel like no matter what happens

I have to suck it up

And be tough

That the grades are never perfect

The photos are never good

That I keep trying to love myself

Just to convince myself that

Somebody else actually could

And the better I get

Sometimes the worse that I feel

Because what if I never get to your

Expectation of what it means to full heal

And I just keep getting older

And each year

It feels like a heavier weight

I keep distracting myself with other hobbies

Like love is an appetite to satiate

I’m not sad about it

I’m just disappointed that I’m still not there

Do you think people feel it

When you include them in a prayer?

What if I never know it?

Not truly

The nausea ensues

If love is an alarm

Why do they just keep hitting snooze?

Because isn’t the dream worth living?

What if I never get…

To know the reality,

Of who I could of met?”

CC

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Ambar G Ambar G

9/20/2024

Every time she touches me…

Every time she holds me…

I wonder why she held back before…

"the price I paid to exist

was a mother who couldn't love me.

my karma was a daughter

made from stars."

-J.J

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Ambar G Ambar G

9/20/2024

I did not survive what I survived

to simply be grateful…

When I look at him

I remember all that matters

—————

You’ve changed my life since the day you were born

Without you, I wouldn’t be the women I am today

You challenged me in ways no one else could

It took all of me to give you all my good

Believe me when I say it was so much to sort through

All I have ever wanted was for you to be loved

To be seen and supported, just as you are

To be a kid

People always tell me I don’t know what it’s like

To be a mother…

To worry every day about how the world treats the best part of you

And I can’t say whether that‘s right or wrong

But you taught me to be a mother…

It has been the greatest privilege of of my life

To only be apart of yours

I had spent years wondering why I never had the urge

Why it never happened for me…

I tossed it into the pile of things “wrong with me”

But when they rolled you out

I realized you were going to be the best part

Of me…

And I think this is exactly what my motherhood was meant to be

I have done my best to give you every ounce of good in me

To shield you from the things that plague me

And I know I’m not great it at it

And it’s okay to be angry or disappointed in the ways I show up

It’s okay to see me as anything but perfect

Because amor, I’m not…

In loving and mothering you

I learned all the things I’ve needed

I’ve understood all the love I’ve lacked

And how easy it was to feel, give…

There is nothing you can do or say

That will ever get me to forget

All the amazing ways you make me feel-

A mother

I have loved you long before you were here

And I will love you far beyond those limits

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Ambar G Ambar G

9/20/2024

I love the smell of transitions

Summer to fall

Fall to winter

The morning mist reminds me

I’ve survived another night…

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Ambar G Ambar G

9/15/2024

Once I realized I had lost my voice

I spent years trying to find where I had left it

I thought if I could pinpoint the exact moment

Then it would just snap back in place

I’m not sure if I lost it in one moment

Or if the accumulation of moments faded out my vocal cords

I’m not even sure if I lost it

That sounds too passive

Like I didn’t even try to fight for it

Like I was careless

It was taken…

When I think of my voice

Of my pain

An opinion or thought

It’s accompanied by a memory of this feeling

Of this terror laced with stillness

That stillness, laced with peace

Isolation

Calmness in nothing

For as long as I can remember I have feared darkness

My heart rate still spikes as the sun begins to set

As a kid, this feeling was beyond terrifying

I was consumed and convinced I was in danger

I can’t say She was wrong

But even on the nights the monsters slept

She couldn’t find comfort in that safety

There use to be this bolt lock on my parent’s door

You locked it from inside the room

My door had a lock too actually…

I tried really hard to be brave

I wasn’t as good then at swallowing my feelings

But I knew it would infuriate her if I didn’t

I could feel her waiting for a tear to drop

For my face to shift

I’d make it up until the lights were switched off all over the house

I’d sit up very still trying to make myself have night vision

Trying to smell and feel someone pushing through the air in the room

She just knew someone was there

I knew better than to touch her

I knew better than to cry in front of her

I knew I wouldn’t find what I wanted

What I needed…

But I just really needed someone to keep me safe

Back and forth I’d have arguments in my head

Debating when the fear would be real enough to try

At what point was it worth begging?

My stomach would knot up

The sharp pain in my chest felt like I was dying

"My mommy wouldn’t want that”…

I suppose She thought…

Then She’d call out for her

Louder and louder

Until She realized no one was coming

There were no footsteps down the hall

No locks or doorknobs clicking

The pain of the rejection was always deflating

Her screams just echoed back at Her

It filled Her with shame, embarrassment

Shame for being weak

Embarrassment for needing someone

Unconsciousness took over when there was no more liquid left

No more energy left…

There are different versions for different nights

But this night, was the night of the doormat

She made her way on Her hands and knees

Trying to control Her breathing

“She hates when I make too much noise…”

But gasping was the only way air came in

She makes it just past the door

On the carpet She tries to find comfort

She’s awake and furious

We are stupid and annoying

We are pathetic

We must stop crying…

We try for more contact

We climb into bed

But only at her feet to keep some distance

Her warmth begins to feel soothing

Maybe she will let us stay if we don’t move

Unfortunately, we’ve been crying too long

My lungs involuntarily gasp for air

She kicks me repeatedly

I fight to hold on longer

But I’m not strong enough, and it hurts…

She drags us outside the room

Drops us off on the doormat

… Like my biological mother did in the dumpster behind a McDonalds…

We are unwanted garbage

The bolt on the door clicks

I’m sore and tired

I’m scared and frozen

There is no fight left

I continue to cry on the mat for sometime

But when she comes to kick on the door

The numbness take over

This is where the terror turns to stillness

In the silence I find calm in the acceptance

I surrender to the end of me

I begin to pray for it as I fall asleep…

I wonder if my lips felt numb then too…

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Ambar G Ambar G

9/13/2024

Tonight, I think I understand the concept of “liquid courage”

The reward has always been at the end of a bottle

I have needed the courage to run

You told me to pay attention…

The switch flipped

The images blended

The here and now is all mixed up

It’s calling for the past

The sharp pain hits my diaphragm

Like a game of carnival high stricker

I bite into my lip

Gauging my pain tolerance

I taste iron

But I smell it too…

No, no, no

So we clean the mess

But the mess continues in me…

The air felt prickly that night

The kind of atmosphere that makes your shoulders instantly tight

I don’t remember what I did wrong

But I remember being different

I built it up for months

I was convinced the information would trigger something I’d have to survive

In that passenger seat, in that parking lot, of that mall

I held my breath and said it

His excitement was something I didn’t expect

It scared me more than what I had anticipated

I don’t remember why we were there

But in this store…

I wondered around the clothes

Trying to feel my way back into this world

“… Are you okay?” she mouthed at me

Her face, specifically her lips are forever etched in my brain

I don’t think I responded

Before I could even decide if I wanted to

His face found mine

I spent the rest of the day thinking about her

What was it about us that pushed her to ask?

What was it about me?…

There was no one else to tell

Nothing anyone could do

I tried to convince him we needed the confirmation

Finally he took me…

I remember the options the nurse gave me

But she didn’t know who was waiting for me in that waiting room

She couldn’t understand

His excitement overpowered my fear

Something shifted

This was wrong

What kind of a mother would choose him?…

Again my brain created memories of the future

Memories they would have of the ways he made a room smell like iron

The way my brain would make noises like hammered out metal

I spent weeks disappointed in who I was

In the choices I had made

Honestly, I spent weeks hoping this would all go away

That’s where I still get stuck today…

The guilt is webbed into the reality of my freedom

I wished for this…

For the problem to go away…

I have never known my place

Not as a child

Not as a teenager

Not today

I didn’t speak when I met you

Yet, I said more than I ever should’ve

I think I may have wanted to see their worst

I wanted to see his

So there were no surprises

He was great at surprises…

I remember the grey bedding

I don’t know what I objected to

But time slowed down…

I anticipated the strike

The mattress launched me into the second

I remember the smell of the room… the sheets

The floor smelled like pine-sol

Instantly, I regretted my choice

The feeling was different

Something shifted or opened

It allowed fear to enter my body

But it wasn’t for me…

He forgot all about his excitement

I tried…

But the blows came in past my knees

Past my arms…

My head was left open

… I promise I tried…

The room filled with the smell of metal

But not like the metal I knew

The pain launched into my throat

Suddenly the nightmare… wasn’t a nightmare

The tile outlined my efforts

They were gone…

I knew they were

I spent weeks hoping for this

Why did it feel so wrong?

He was angry

I could smell it

I tried to sift through the puddles

Like as if the fragments of DNA could be put back together

He would correct it

He would teach me the importance of my place…

And over and over again he tried to bring you back

On that cold tile floor

Then on the itchy grey comforter

And I let him…

Try and to fix my mistake…

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Ambar G Ambar G

9/11/2024

I wonder what rotten parts of myself continue to write out these awful chapters

Stories that make no sense unless read backwards

Those who love me tell I've lived many lives

They ask me how I've managed to get by

They often tell me I'm worthy and deserving of love

-of a life, I know nothing about

Love doesn't feel like a chapter I'll find in my book

Sure-like everyone else, I've thought about what my love story could be

The more time passes, the more I'm convinced that it is me

Who is to become the love of my life-

Laced and intertwined in all my chapters

When it comes to love people focus on the beginning and ends

How did it start? How did it end?

What milestones are significant enough to bookmark?

But are these moments really things worth folding the corner of your page for?

I think the moments are in the folds of the pages

The things no one else can see or feel

You cant capture these things and brag about it on the internet

It means nothing to anyone else but you

What good is a marriage, if you feel unseen by your partner?

What good is a 100 rose bouquet, if every other day you're unappreciated?

I guess I just don't understand

What's the appeal of something so ingenuine?

Life is hard to sort out as it is

My memories feel more real than I am

They're more alive than I am

I get lost and consumed by a life that no longer is

I value the pauses

The moments that bring me back

Milliseconds of an image, scent, sound, or taste will derail me

But it's also the milliseconds in a smile, laugh, or touch that set me back on course

These are the things I annotate

I make sure to mark the pages of pause

It means nothing to anyone else but me

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Ambar G Ambar G

9/5/2024

Others would say I’m brave

That I’m ambitious

These characteristics don’t resonate with me

Yet, I don’t know how to clarify the truth

I anticipate their disappointment

This causes me to hesitate

To fear honesty

So I avoid the introduction to Her

How do I explain that my drive isn’t what it seems?

I’m doing all I can to keep from falling apart

This drive is about survival

It’s a learned behavior

Built out of necessity

Not aspirations

If I stand still, I’m an easy target

I’m not brave

Really, I’m just scared…

All the time

That’s the source of energy people praise

The drive people feel inspired by

I’ve never wanted to be famous

Or known

I never cared to be a millionaire

I couldn’t think about my life more than a day out

Her fear and search for survival is the core

She only ever wanted to be strong enough to never be hurt again

To be big enough to never be made small again

Introducing you to my drive, Her

Requires admitting

I’m often utterly and irrevocable terrified…

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Ambar G Ambar G

9/2/2024

They'll say, "he wasn't always like this"

"It wasn't bad till it was bad"

But I would argue some of us know

I knew...

There's always a part of me hoping to die

Hoping to be finished off

I'm drawn towards death

Alongside it is the conflicting part

I think they can smell that conflict

Being easy prey is the shame I can't unstick

He killed me in the ways you stay awake for

In the ways you're still alive for

Now I carry the cadaver around

She's tied to me for eternity

The back and forth in me creates delusions

Your reality becomes distorted

Your brain has learned to create fantasies to survive reality

But, then it never turns off

It's constantly on to help make living more digestible

You create narratives you can live with

You find the fantasy in everything

You believe so deeply that you're the ugliest thing in the room

You're the most rotten

That you refuse to see it in them

When he says, "it was an accident"

"It won't happen again"

"Don't make me out to be the bad guy"

You buy it

Because it speaks to the part of you convinced you can make someone love you

I replay the love I lacked in them

Determined to prove my existence wasn't a mistake…

That I am of value

That even if you couldn't love me at first... I could show you that you could in time

Not because I believed they were mistaken but because I had hoped to be redeemable

When you need them most is when you watch their frustration grow

They're convinced the way to fix the things that plague my mind is them

They must show me

Love me harder…

I don't know what it is about that

I suppose I'm not a willing participant in my own healing

Through the begging they persist

The fabric burns as it rubs across my skin

His hands make bruises on my body

Over and over and over I feel their hands

All of them roaming my body

The sensations never fail to return for me

They're accompanied by memories of myself....

The sensations of my limbs becoming weak

Of my muscles, giving up

The memories of them return with images of me...

The sounds of my voice

Not just of the things I say but emotions they deliver

Her screams echo in my skull…

The feelings of my body shrinking

The begging...

The way all my strength falls short

The longing for real death

Over and over she plays her song over the tracks of their hands

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Ambar G Ambar G

9/2/2024

He's ignoring me when it starts

I'm in trouble for something I don't quite understand

The noise gets louder as the night builds

I spend the night attempting to drown it out

Convincing myself I'm invested in those around me

I do my best to hide the reality of where my mind is

It's easy in the motions of the party

He comes to find me on the balcony

I'm not quick enough at apologizing for the thing I don't understand

But he says he forgives me anyways

He's grabbing at me playfully

But it hurts...

His touch is laced with his frustrations of me

I idiotically think he will stop if he knows

The energy switches

His frustration and annoyance bring up the shame in myself

Yes,... again I'm here

Yes, I'm sorry

He tells me to just stop thinking about it

That my problem is thinking too much

He explains it was so long ago

Like I don't spend every day thinking about how long I've carried this for

On the drive home I slip away

He asks about the memories that come up

He wants to know details

Like I'm remembering an old lover

My mind can't sort it out

It's like a fork scraping down a plate

The noise never makes sense out of my head

I'm not responding

His hand grips my thigh harder and harder

When the car stops I try to get more space

He grabs my arm and guides me to his apartment

He tells me I'm safe

He begs me to stop

That it pains him to see me hurt

Tells me I'm pushing his love away

Inside, he places a blanket around me

I feel the tension in my shoulders drop for a moment

He comes back into the room... driven

Begging me to let him fix it

To let him love me

If only it were that easy to tape over

He attempts to pick me up

I drop all my weight to the floor

Hoping I melt into the cracks of the laminate

Hoping I become invisible

Why can't he understand me?

Why can't he see me?

Why can't I be anything but broken?

He's angry now

He grabs my arms and begins to drag me

........................

The cold water brings me back

I have a splitting headache

My jaw is tight and immobile

He's sitting on the toilet lid facing the floor

He tells me he loves me without looking at me

He tells me he's sorry

That he'll try better

He gives me privacy to remove the wet clothes

I climb in bed desperate to be loved and kept safe

In a few hours I'm crying from the weight of him

I don't have the energy to fight

And maybe he's right

Maybe I'm not letting his love fix me...

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Ambar G Ambar G

8/30/2024

I suppose life is about juggling

Finding your rhythm in keeping everything in the air

Living isn’t about resolving these things

Surely that’s the goal of urgency

But, the real test in resiliency is juggling

How do you manage when life inevitably feeds you another ball?

I don’t know how to juggle

Life has been feeding me balls like I’m in a batting cage

Before I recognize the first, the next one’s loading

I wonder if the method matters

I don’t know how to juggle…

But I’ve learned the game- keep everything in the air, at all costs

So I load up all the things

Some I hold under my armpits

Some I clamp down on with my thighs

And I can balance a hell of a lot on my head…

You’d be surprised

I play hacky sack as they begin to fall

Catching them just before they hit the ground

The balls are made of rubber and glass

But I can’t tell the difference until I let one slip

And the consequences rattle my rhythm

I routinely have the urge to let it all fall

Oh, what would it be like to have no balls at all…

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