9/20/2024

I did not survive what I survived

to simply be grateful…

When I look at him

I remember all that matters

—————

You’ve changed my life since the day you were born

Without you, I wouldn’t be the women I am today

You challenged me in ways no one else could

It took all of me to give you all my good

Believe me when I say it was so much to sort through

All I have ever wanted was for you to be loved

To be seen and supported, just as you are

To be a kid…

People always tell me I don’t know what it’s like

To be a mother…

To worry every day about how the world treats the best part of you

And I can’t say whether that‘s right or wrong

But you taught me to be a mother…

It has been the greatest privilege of of my life

To only be apart of yours

I had spent years wondering why I never had the urge

Why it never happened for me…

I tossed it into the pile of things “wrong with me”

But when they rolled you out

I realized you were going to be the best part

Of me…

And I think this is exactly what my motherhood was meant to be

I have done my best to give you every ounce of good in me

To shield you from the things that plague me

And I know I’m not great it at it

And it’s okay to be angry or disappointed in the ways I show up

It’s okay to see me as anything but perfect

Because amor, I’m not…

In loving and mothering you

I learned all the things I’ve needed

I’ve understood all the love I’ve lacked

And how easy it was to feel, give…

There is nothing you can do or say

That will ever get me to forget

All the amazing ways you make me feel-

A mother

I have loved you long before you were here

And I will love you far beyond those limits