10/8/2023

The tension roams my body

It lingers at my chest and in my throat

I open my chest

My attempts cause my body to tremble

No air comes in

My throat is so tight I can't swallow

The tightness will sever my tongue right off

His return has drained me

My body is difficult to pull along

All the aches I've learned to move with are suddenly in the forefront

Too much in my awareness

I wonder if I haven't progressed as much as I think I have

I've worked so hard and yet I'm pulled back so quickly

A couple words, few syllables

Root me back to a place I fought to get back up from

I'm exhausted wondering if I'll have to fight my way out this forest forever

Why do I allow him such power?

Logically I can argue

I can observe these thoughts

But the emotion, that's where I'm fucked