5/4/2023

The shame intensifies. Shame, a familiar friend. It always seems to find me in my lowest moments. I’m trying my best. I’m depleted. I think it’s my best. (Enters shame)

My best most days, is ugly and messy. It’s too loud and I run. I seek the escape and the distance. I’ve stored jars of this stuff for years. They’ve collected dust in the back of shelves in forbidden rooms. I’ve cracked one open and realized it soured.

It’s poison. How could so much poison live in one space, one person?

I look at this wall of jars and realize I’m in the fight of my life.