8/8/2024

It’s a joke-I knew this going into it

But it was more than that

It had the sting of a personal joke

The sounds seemed to get louder and echo in my head

They used to come off my body

The keys banging up against your hip

The squeakiness of your boots on the floor

The subtle sound of the material rubbing between your legs

I could smell it

I could hear it

I could see it so clearly it felt like I was looking directly into the sun

The buckle on my purse began to rattle in the quiet room

I trace it back to my hands

I notice my heart beating in my throat

Embarrassment instantly takes over

Not here…

It’s not safe here

They discuss the importance of justice and fairness

“The system is here to help you when you need it”

My lips begin to go numb

It spreads to the rest of my face

Luckily the rest is vague

I disconnect to make it as long as I can

It builds- ultimately I fall apart

The gate is open and the feeling scares me

It’s more than anger

It’s more hatred

I failed today

I can’t seem to find any justice in this world

There’s no balance

I watch my mind commit crimes against itself

Nothing ever seems to change…