9/5/2024

Others would say I’m brave

That I’m ambitious

These characteristics don’t resonate with me

Yet, I don’t know how to clarify the truth

I anticipate their disappointment

This causes me to hesitate

To fear honesty

So I avoid the introduction to Her

How do I explain that my drive isn’t what it seems?

I’m doing all I can to keep from falling apart

This drive is about survival

It’s a learned behavior

Built out of necessity

Not aspirations

If I stand still, I’m an easy target

I’m not brave

Really, I’m just scared…

All the time

That’s the source of energy people praise

The drive people feel inspired by

I’ve never wanted to be famous

Or known

I never cared to be a millionaire

I couldn’t think about my life more than a day out

Her fear and search for survival is the core

She only ever wanted to be strong enough to never be hurt again

To be big enough to never be made small again

Introducing you to my drive, Her

Requires admitting

I’m often utterly and irrevocable terrified…