8/17/2023

(Dream)

Looking for a book because he asks me to come with a book. It was a specific request but I don't remember why I bring Harry Potter to show him.

I feel nervous and shy handing it over. He starts with the back of the book and says "that's it?". Not in a dismissive way but in a way that eases my nervousness. I show him the chapters and they're covered in doodles, phrases, and mess. Dark themes. Suffering and death.

He gives me his Harry Potter book. I'm surprised it's the same book.

The pages have careful needle blades all over. Just enough to not slice the page. Titles and edges have doodles and words.

I scan carefully. Touch the lines and tilt for reflection of light on the pages.

It's messy. Dark. A lot of death and grief.

I find an illustration with hello kitty and a rabbit. Both dead.

I'm pleased with this image. It's in color and stands out.

He says, "I added her into it".

I'm invested in the details. I want to explore the pages. Dive into the mess of these lines and images. It's beautiful.

I look up and realize he's been watching me.

Not looking at the book with me.

It scares me and I awake.