12/15/2023

Lately, the differences and levels of love have been of deep interest to me

At first, I was going to simply say that I miss you

Although, this isn’t a lie

It’s also not the whole truth

Do we love people like we love art?

Like a distant admirer?

Love it knowing we can never truly own it’s magic and forever live apart

I’m afraid, I must admit…

To give it air, to give it light

I’m conflicted

The forces are evenly balanced

I desire control and letting go

The other side of the coin wants to jump and fold

It seeks the depth of still waters

Regardless of danger

Knowing argues with feeling

I couldn’t explain it to anyone who couldn’t feel it

What it’s like to be seen

And not with their eyes…

To be touched by their words, more than other hands ever could

I don’t know when it happened

I couldn’t give you a specific date

It happened like any other flashback

But these moments, still images

They filled me

Love and grief are intertwined

We cannot compromise with grief

It’s directly proportional to the depth of our connections

That recognition terrifies me

I’ve been proven a fool

Safety and home in the energy of another can, After all… exist

The feeling is indescribable for me

I suppose it’s foreign

It’s cosmic

Both platonic and romantic

The longer I carry it,

The heavier it gets