6/24/2024

I’m not good with asking for help

In moments like these, I freeze

I go in circles-don’t know how to make a decision either way

Letting someone help me requires going against my nature

I’ve unpacked it and looked at it all kinds of ways

Doesn’t make these moments any easier

This time last year, was the same thing

I watched my friends show up

One by one, each picking up my literal baggage…

The entire process was uncomfortable

Took half the day but the hours felt like days…

It unsettled me in every way

I am deeply grateful for the privilege of calling them friends

I just can’t seem to stop resisting this way of relating

I worry I cannot not repay them for their sacrifice

It makes me uneasy to wonder if it’s pity

I can sort it out on my own

Find the resources I need even if it’s more of headache

Because I can, I feel that’s the right option

But over and over again they force themselves in

If I close one door, they open a window

I don’t know why they keep trying

I don’t get why they show up

I just know I’m stuck and deeply grateful for them…